Where Do Babies Come From?
by SavannahsDrabbles
Summary: One shot that gained a lot of attention on my deviantart and Tumblr. The turtles ask where babies come from.
1. Part ONE

"Are we old enough now, Sensei?"

The question came out of no where, almost completely muffled by the cheerful chatter that echoed through the kitchen. April glanced up from her plate, surprised to see Mikey's expression. The turtle, whose mouth was currently covered in the chocolate cake she had purchased for their 16th Mutation Day, was eyeing his father with a half-curious, half-excited smile that reminded her of the face he made when she had explained to him what cheesecake was.

Sensei's ears twitched in amusement, but his voice rang out solemnly, shushing the other turtles. "Old enough for what, my son?"

Mikey stabbed another forkful of cake and shoved the chocolate treat into his mouth before he spoke. His response was muffled, and punctuated as cake sprayed across the table. "To know where babies come from."

The red-head sputtered in surprise, nearly gagging on the soda she had been sipping. Her head whipped to face the giant rat beside her, only to see his eyes widen in stunned silence.

"Dude, we came from turtle eggs," Raphael rolled his eyes as if his brother had asked the stupidest question in the world. "You know that,"

"Well yeah," the freckled turtle stuck out his tongue at his red masked brother. "But I've seen human babies on TV, and they look WAY too big to fit in any kind of egg I've seen! And  
besides- how did we get in the eggs?"

Across the table, Leo slowly put down his fork and wrinkled his brow. "That's true- I'd never thought of that before,"

Raph raised an eyebrow curiously. "Now that you mention it…" He turned to Splinter. "Where do new humans come from?"

April pursed her lips and glanced back at her teacher, stunned to see that he was looking at her desperately. "You never told them?"

"The boys were without female contact for fifteen years," Splinter reasoned sheepishly- an adjective that April had never imagined she would use to describe the rat. "I never found a reason to tell them."

"See!" Mikey waved his fork in their father's direction. "You always said that we were too young to know! But we're 16 now- isn't that old enough?"

"Yeah!" Leo and Raph chorused.

April turned to Donnie, noticing that he had remained silent throughout the conversation. To her surprise, the turtle was staring down at his meal as red blush colored his cheeks. Upon sensing her gaze, the purple-masked terrapin fiddled with his fork and coughed nervously. "I- um- learned about it from a book when I was nine," he explained.

Silverware suddenly clattered next to April, and she looked back at Sensei to see him gathering his plate and backing out of the kitchen. "Perhaps it is best that a woman explains this topic,"

Before she could protest, the giant rat slipped through the blue curtains that separated the kitchen from the rest of the lair, with Donnie following closely behind.

"Wait- WHAT?!" April stood up quickly from her seat, her voice raising as she screamed after the fleeing forms. "No! I refuse to have The Talk with these guys! Get back in here, you cowards!"


	2. Part TWO

_Author's Note: I have received LOTS of messages DEMANDING a sequel. This was literally written in the span of about seven minutes. So… here ya go._

***

The answer finally came out, but not without much begging and arguing.

April had pounded on the door to Donnie's lab - where the purple-masked turtle and rat sensei had barricaded themselves in - until her hands were numb, all while being bombarded by questions from the three turtles around her.

"Fine!" she had finally snapped, no longer able to put up with her brothers' constant prodding. And then, the truth had spilled out. Lessons from health class and memories of her father's awkward explanations of where babies come from filled the sewer air.

Finally, silence. The red-head crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow, watching the reactions that played out.

Leo blinked slowly, his eyes being the only part of his body that moved. The blue-masked turtle nodded swiftly, and then muttered something about "mind-numbing katas" through gritted teeth before darting towards the dojo.

Raphael had taken off halfway through the lecture hands clapped over his ears as he bellowed that he was about to hurl. A few moments later, the sounds of said turtle being violently sick in the bathroom were heard.

Finally, there was Mikey. The youngest turtle frowned deeply, seeming to be attempting to process the information. "So… when Master Splinter would always change the channel on TV…"

April slapped a hand to her forehead and breathed out a sigh. "Yeah. That's what was happening."

The orange-masked turtle nodded slowly, then grimaced. "That's… Really weird."

"Yup."

Mikey turned awkwardly, and then grinned over his shoulder at April. "I'm gonna go read some comic books now - Captain Nebulizer's about to defeat Sir Hragtholjon!" With that, Mikey back-flipped out of the room and contentedly left to read his comics.

With the room silent once more, save for the sounds of Leo's distant chanting as he went through katas and Raph breathing heavily as he attempted to calm himself, April slid down the wall until she was seated on the ground. "You can come out, now,"

The lab door slowly creaked open, and Donnie poked his head out. An awkward attempt at a smile was plastered across his face. "Thanks, April! You're a lifesaver!"

The red-head scowled from her place on the floor, shooting daggers at the turtle that stood above her. "Yeah, well you and Sensei owe me. BIG TIME."


End file.
